calloused: day 3

i have been told that i write the way i talk. so if you’ve never heard my voice, just read my blog in a really high pitched voice.

so. i am taking an eating disorders class this semester, and it is probably the most interesting thing to me. ever. i also experienced the horrific disgustingness of golden corral yesterday. how do these 2 connect? this is how. we’re talking about binge eating and purging in class. bulimics can consume up to 40,000 calories in one purge. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?! (that will probs be the only time i ever capitalize. ps.) i just do not understand how any body (body read as human body, not anybody) is capable of holding all that food for the amount of time it takes to finish the binge.

then i went to golden corral. dear lord. i am almost certain that i consumed close to 10,000 calories there. and i don’t even eat meat! how is this possible? i came home and had the worst stomach ache ever. i woke up this morning with that same stomach ache. all i know is that i am never going back to that place again. ever.

it blows my mind how numb our body becomes to external things like this.

so calloused that we can’t even feel the weight on our shoulders. and we just move. towards a full nothing. my soul it aches to be fed 40,000 calories of everything in this universe, so heavy i feel it with every being in this life. this thing called life that has come so fast that i have become numb to my own self.

peace on earth. [and good will to men]


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