I’m 3 years older than 18

Change of plans happen. I’ll go back to my point 5 from my last post in a bit. I’ve had another epiphany that I would like to share with my few and dedicated readers.

i’ve been up since 4am trying to get this research thesis irb finished and done with. it’s been a very long and frustrating week for me. this irb has LITERALLY been haunting me. i have about 15 missed phone calls from my friends and family that i’ve ignored, along with countless missed and ignored gchats so i can get this thing done done done.

well, while doing some last minute literature review, i’m looking up at my bulletin board. i have a bunch of quotes posted on it. and there is one that i really love. it’s written by a founder of my sorority. and it says, “above all, we wanted a high and active special purpose to justify existence and a simple devotion to some worthy end”. now this is one of my favorite quotes. i feel like it really encompasses the essence of why we as humans are here. and i’d like to share my opinion on the matter with you all, if you don’t mind. i’m going to do this by breaking the statement into a couple parts. just flow with me.

“we wanted a high and active special purpose”–we are all on this planet for a reason. obviously different ones, so that we can all support one another and sustain human life. religious backgrounds and ties, and lack thereof may give different reasons as to why we are here. some people have really lofty and high goals, some just want to get by. either way, it’s a very personal thing. and we lose sight of that. i do this all the time. i get so frustrated when i see untapped potential; when i know that this guy or girl can do SO much with their life, but just choose not to, because that’s what they want. i tend to forget to see life from other people’s perspective. this is definitely one of my flaws that i’ve realized to an even greater extent than before–i’m a really selfish person. i claim everything that i have done, do, and want to do for myself (my career, my life, my family, this is what i want, why i want it, etc.). now, stella makes a really good point here. we wanted a HIGH AND ACTIVE SPECIAL PURPOSE. a lot of my frustration lies in this part. why do i get so agitated with untapped potential? because of idleness. are you doing something with your life? i don’t care what it is, just what are you doing? what are you doing to distinguish yourself from the next person in your family, school, city, country. have you taken what every institution has told you is the “reason why we’re here” and made it yours? is it personal? what makes you stand out? what makes you so special? i mean, it is SO easy just to do the bare minimum to get by. mediocrity is the bane of our society. and we’ve allowed it. we teach at such a young age that average is good. but do we ever emphasize that extraordinary is even better? my parents pushed me to be the best me, yeah, but at times i was okay with being just average–lost in the crowd, nothing special. just nishita. what makes me so great? so special? i have been given a lot in this life, both externally and internally. i’m devoted, loving, caring, personable, social, awkward, sometimes funny, and more. so am i using this to create my own personal, special purpose, and am i active in trying to reach this purpose? these are questions that i don’t ask enough. and sitting here right now, realizing this, i can give hundreds of reasons of what makes me like the next person, but only a handful of what makes me special. i need to start cultivating those things in my life which are going to make me special.

“to justify existence”– this part can become a little criticizing, and just a disclaimer, anything i’m about to write applies to my life just as much as anyone else. to justify existence. now this says a lot, but i’m going to keep it at a minimum (i think it’s an intense question enough that you can take in and introspect for yourself). actually, i’m just going to ask this one question. do your actions, thoughts, efforts, and everything that makes you up as a unique individual justify your existence?

“a simple devotion to some worthy end”–and i leave with this final part of the quote. what are you striving for? is it worthy enough for you? you are a human being. you are a great being. are you doing everything you can to ensure that what you’re doing is the right thing? just a simple devotion. that is all you need. a simple devotion to yourself and your life.

stella was hitting a lot of key points when she said this. i’m impressed (but who isn’t with stella). i asked a lot of questions in this post, and these are all questions that i asked myself when really reading this quote. it’s funny how things just hit you randomly throughout the day. i want to live such a life that i am special. and whether or not people remember me for what i did or anything, i will have the peace that i was devoted to myself.

“above all, we wanted a high and active special purpose to justify existence and a simple devotion to some worthy end”                  stella george stern perry

peace in this day.

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