in denial

“When you deny the God within, you deny the God everywhere…” -Dr. Lad

This little, yet huge statement was made by Dr. Lad a few weeks ago, and I have been churning the meaning behind this ever since then. What in the world could Dr. Lad have been meant by saying this? These are my thoughts on the whole thing…

What does it really mean to deny the God within? And I began thinking, a lack of so much and an excess amount of so much all contributes to us denying the God within. Every time I look in the mirror and point out a flaw, I am denying the God within. A lack of self-esteem, self-worth, self-trust are all contributors to denying the God within. If I can’t even love myself, the perfectness that something greater than myself has created, how in the heck am I going to be able to love someone else? It always begins with you, with going internally and really loving and appreciating every ounce of your existence and being.

Our lives are clouded by judgement and criticism, towards other and ourselves. We fail to see that our external environment is just a reflection of our internal one. I judge and criticize because of my own insecurities. I am rude and mean because of something within that doesn’t sit well with me about myself. With this, I am denying the God within.

We are constantly seeking for something bigger than ourselves in every single place. Why don’t we ever just turn our focus the other way and begin to look within. Our bodies are the first temple. However, we will take care of everything except ourselves.

Tonight, Dr. Lad said that the true heaven we seek is already within us. Everything that we could ever want and need is lying within. But, we choose to deny all of that, and by denying what we already have, we are denying everything that is beyond us. Gandhi says to be the change you wish to seek in the world. Many other bright and enlightened people always focus on self-development, and going within, and seeking internally. Well, there is some validation to what they are saying. Instead of worrying about others, why not worry about yourself? One of the hardest problems I face is listening to something inspiring, and then thinking about every other person that thought or idea can benefit. But, do I ever turn the arrow to myself and really try to implement those same ideas into my own life? I essentially have just put myself in the same boat of other people judging from my idea of “non-judgement”. And where does this get me? Absolutely no where.

Nothing but in denial. I am constantly denying the greatness within me, and ultimately, I am hindering myself to see the greatness that surrounds me. After all, my external environment is just a reflection of my internal.

Luckily there are so many tools out there to alleviate this constant cycle I put myself in–awareness and mindfulness being two of the main ones. Be aware of your thoughts and actions.

Start loving yourself and then truly and purely be able to love others.

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