My dad has been out of town since Thursday. My mother and I haven’t been alone together for this long in quite a while, as in by ourselves. Growing up, my mom and I didn’t agree on a lot of things. Day after day, I would promise myself that I would never do the things my mom did, or act the way she did.
The longer I was away from her during college, I began to notice that we have the same tendencies and mannerisms. I like things done my way. Everything has to be neat and organized. Randomly, I would go into cleaning sprees, making sure there wasn’t a speck of dust in my apartment room. After moving home from college, these habits continued. I began to realize that my mom and I are really similar, really really similar. Is this why we were never close growing up? Was I fighting a mirror reflection of myself growing up?
My grandma (mom’s mom) was with us for a few months after I moved home, and a few months after we got back from India. Watching my mom interact with her’s was like watching my relationship with my mom. I began to notice how she treats her mom the same exact way I treat her. It dawned on me, I am my mother’s daughter. Am I going to turn out just like my mom? Would my future daughter turn out the same way?
Looking back at the generation of women before me, I realize how strong and compassionate they are. They are the epitome of what a wife, mother, daughter, and sister are. I see what it means to be a woman–the sturdy backbone, the compassionate heart, the loving shoulder, nurturing hands. I guess if I end up the same way as my mother and grandmothers, I won’t be in too bad of a place. I mean, they’re all incredible ladies that I’m so fortunate to have in my life. They’ve set the tone for what a true woman should be.
I have begun to appreciate my mom so much more these past few months, and I literally don’t know what I would have done or how I would have turned out if it wasn’t for her. I don’t tell her this enough, but I love that woman more than life itself.
So, what’s the point of this post? Nothing more than another realization I’ve had in life that I know is going to help me in the future. It’s funny when things begin to make sense. Life always gives you clarity when you’re most prepared.
I (think) I’ve said this before, but the relationships we have in our life play such an essential role in our development. Are you learning about yourself? Are you growing? Are you becoming closer to your goal because of that other individual? These are questions I ask myself, but really need to ask myself much more than I do. Because these are the people that I want to turn to in times of need. These are the people I want to share my successes and my failures with. These are the people that are going to help me seek the Ultimate.
What better relationship than the one with the person who knows you best, whether you want to admit it or not. Family will always be your family at the end of the day, whether you like it or not. So mom, if you’re reading this, I love you. And thanks for being the best mom a girl can ask for!
I am my mother’s daughter.