5 minute dance party

I am ashamed, yet proud to admit that I started and caught up on 11 and a half seasons of Grey’s Anatomy in about 3 months. If you are unaware of this show, the main characters Meredith and Christina frequently have 5 minute dance parties. And you know what? I just did too. This is why I loved it.

Nandan has been traveling quite a bit for work lately. I generally have had the apartment to myself a lot. Nothing crazy about that. Makes sense. However, I have noticed that it does get a little lonely around here every now and then. Sure, school keeps me busy with studying and homework and experimenting all the stuff we learn at school. But, there’s nothing that can replace human interaction. And well, Meredith and Christina can only keep me company for so long.

I’m all about bringing excitement to otherwise seemingly boring situations. Don’t get me wrong, I am loving school. Every minute. But, sometimes you’re just stuck in a boring scenario and you need to do something. That happened today. All of a sudden I got this crazy surge of energy, and I decided to have a dance party.

And it was the greatest thing ever.

I turned my Pandora station up all the way and just let loose. Jumping and shaking and dancing around my apartment brought a new thrill that I haven’t experienced since having similar dance parties with my college roommates and sorority sisters almost 3 years ago (woah, has it really been that long since I’ve been out of college?!). It was incredible.

To shake off all of the pent up energy I had from just sitting so much and being in the book and working hard was awesome. More importantly, it was FUN. Now, I understand why the lovely Grey’s ladies would succumb to a dance party no matter how sticky or terrible the situation.

Lesson learned from my dance party. I don’t need to look externally for fun and excitement. That source of energy and excitement and joy all comes from within. Of course, it’s great to share these moments with the people you love being around with. But, you don’t need anything but to love yourself to have a great time no matter what. There’s no need to be influenced by external factors. Everything you need to have an amazing life is all within.

So often we rely on other people or things to make us happy and have fun. I’m guilty of it more than not, getting trapped in the idea that I need Nandan around to have fun, or have my friends around to have fun, or go to that place or hang out there. But, all of that is so false. We have the power of the ultimate and the infinite right within us. What more do we need to be rockstars and have a great time every minute of our life?

The more we are able to tap into that energy from within us, the more positivity and excitement we can exude to those around us.

After all, it’s the holiday season. There’s no time for boring or mundane. It’s time to get crazy and have FUN!

Dance it out people.

 

never alone

I spent this summer digging deeper and deeper within myself and trying to connect more and more with my inner Self and my true, pure soul. I’ve begun to realize more and more how impermanent everything in this world is, except for the thing bigger than myself. This thing, this soul, this inner universe, this whatever you want to call it is truly a fascinating thing to study. The more personal I get with my true self, the more I realize how much strength it has. I’ve begun to realize what it truly means that I am able to live and breathe because of this invisible thing living within the walls of my body and bones.

Growing up, day in and day out my parents, family, friends, the spiritual organization I grew up in kept drilling the idea of the in-dwelling God within myself. The constant threats to always do good and be good, because “someone is always watching.” Of course, being the bratty kid that I was, I put on a show, but never really truly understood what they were trying to tell me. God’s everywhere. Cool. So what? And then, when I began this journey a few years back to truly seek truth–I mean not just want it, but really do something above and beyond to find this Truth, the layers began to unravel. This whole idea of God is everywhere began to make sense.

Next, Ayurvedic School happened, and my world was turned upside down. Every day in class, Dr. Lad would drop these huge truths like they were no big deal. Talking about what real meditation was, about the Seer, Seeing, and the Seen, and so much more philosophy that I wasn’t sure what to do with. But, the core of it was the same thing that I’ve been taught my whole life…you’re never alone.

Everything that I studied growing up, the spiritual books I read, the teachers I was learning from were all saying the same thing–that your body is just that, your body, nothing more and nothing less. It took 24 years to figure this out, and I’m still trying to grasp my mind around it all. I am never alone. My real Self is the higher Self, it’s bigger than just Nishita, it’s bigger than my body, than this daily life of routine. When this Truth finally started to sink in, little by little this summer, my perspective started changing.

There really is more to life than just the stuff we surround ourselves with in our tiny little bubble. This world is huge, and life is the gigantic container for it all. But even bigger than that is your true self, the capital S Self that encompasses life. And to get reconnected with that, that is something I want to do–to find my way back to the ultimate source. That is what life is all about.

It’s just reassuring to know that I’m not alone in all of that. There’s a source inside of me that is waiting to give me that strength. It’s flooding with the energy I need to continue and carry on. It’s constantly looking out for my best interest and cheering me on to succeed in everything that I do. It’s that little Jimney Cricket within us that is the source of all things wonderful and positive and good.

This feat is not impossible friends. With the right tools and the right understanding anything is truly possible. Straight from my senior year yearbook, “See the invisible, do the impossible.
Never has this quote meant so much more than it does now…and I’ve only barely scratched the surface. When you start believing in that invisible, literally nothing is impossible.

seek and you shall find

We are seekers.

I was at a store the other day, when I stumbled upon a mug that said seek. I don’t know why, but something appealed to me about that mug with its drawing of a bird and the simple phrase of seek. I began thinking of how we live our lives constantly seeking something, whether we know it or not. We are in a perpetual state of seeking knowledge, truth, something bigger than ourselves, more than we ever know.

Even on a physical level, we are seeking food, water, and clothes. We are seeking a place to belong, friends, a career. We are seeking knowledge and skills. We are seeking ways to make us better (on all levels), seeking things that bring about a sense of fulfillment, a feeling of satisfaction. We seek fun and enjoyment. We seek happiness. All of this we are constantly doing on a day to day basis, without us even realizing it.

It has become a natural state of being for us. It always has been a natural state of being for us. Think back to the cave men who were seeking something too..food, shelter, whatever. The more I pondered on this subject, the more I began realizing that this state of being is almost inherent, whether we believe it or not. Sure, all of us are at different stages of this act depending on what we want out of life, and that’s perfectly okay. Personally, I’m on a journey of seeking something bigger than myself, seeking truth, and seeking the true meaning of happiness. However, the deeper I delved the more I began seeing how the different levels of seeking interplayed and connected with each other. Even on a very physical level of the food decisions I make, play a huge role in what and how I seek on a more emotional or spiritual level. Ultimately we are all seeking some sort of Truth, big or small, relative to our bubble and our thinking and our reality. But, what does this even mean?

To be completely honest, I can’t say that I have an answer to that question. But, I do know that to get something that you really want, to reach the end of what you are really seeking requires a lot of digging and cutting and going places you probably don’t want to go. I’m speaking metaphorically, but that’s just the way I can think to explain it. Facing the truths about yourself and seeing yourself and others in a light you haven’t exactly paid attention to isn’t a pretty thing to face. A lot of days, I begin to uncover things about me that aren’t awesome. I have huge anxieties and attachments that govern the way I think and the types of decisions I make. I have a strong desire to please a million other people, except the one true thing that actually matters, my soul, my Self. I run around doing a million things constantly asking for a break, and when that break comes, I bore myself to death and waste precious time. These truths aren’t awesome. I have a hot temper, I have a strong ego, I have ridiculous attachments…all of which I found while seeking something.

I don’t know what it means to be a seeker. I do know that the path is a hard one. I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned it in a previous post or not, but someone once told me that when you’re on a path of seeking (which, in my opinion, we all are to some extent), the harder decision tends to be the right decision. And it hurts. A lot (I can definitely vouch for that). But, I’m sure even the cavemen went through some sort of pain on their seeking journey. Surely one of them burned themselves a little when they discovered fire.

In that same fire the first people discovered, there was a bright light and radiance that must have filled the air. It took some time, but it happened. Although I have a long and tedious path ahead of me, I know and have faith that whatever I reach will fill my being with a bright light and radiance unlike anything I have ever seen.

Keep on the path my fellow seekers. Soon we will reach our discovery,

“Decide what your Truth is. Then live it.” -Kamal Ravikant

Jim Carrey commencement speech

Graduation season is coming to a close. I like to read up on some of the more exciting ones to see if I can get any pieces of advice or inspiration for my own life. I stumbled upon one from a small university in Iowa.  Here’s a little 1 minute clip of Jim Carrey’s commencement speech from a few weeks ago. Of course, it includes his goofy antics, but definitely had some high points worth sharing.

“I used to believe that who I was ended at the edge of my skin, that I had been given this little vehicle called a body from which to experience creation, and though I couldn’t have asked for a sportier model, it was after all a loaner and would have to be returned. Then, I learned that everything outside the vehicle was a part of me, too, and now I drive a convertible. Top down wind in my hair!”

“You are ready and able to do beautiful things in this world and after you walk through those doors today, you will only ever have two choices: love or fear. Choose love, and don’t ever let fear turn you against your playful heart.”

Check out the full text and video of Jim Carrey’s commencement speech here!

into the summer

So, summer is here. Another chapter in my life is coming to a close as another exciting adventure I like to call the summer is now starting. I have about 5 days until my big oral exam with Dr. Lad, closing the doors (just the first set, I have much more Ayurveda to learn and apply in my life) of my first year of Ayurvedic education. After that, I set on another journey this summer of lots of spiritual and personal growth (hopefully!). Whether or not it turns into something exciting, I know that there is a lot to be learned from whatever will come my way these next few months.

I have a belief in setting intentions. And, you know what, I completely and whole-heartedly believe that intentions come true. You just have to make them heard to the universe. The universe is not something against you. It is here to serve you, and all you have to do, in some way, is serve it back. Anyways, I like to set intentions (sometimes unwillingly, to be completely honest) before I start something new in my life. Lessons I want to learn about, things I need to/want to work on, clarity I want to receive on some matter or other. And it just helps guide my thoughts and actions when I start something new. Seriously, y’all should try it.

Anyways, this summer for me is going to be a lot about self-discipline and self-study. There is so much I want to learn about and so much energy I want to harness from the world and the people around me. And, unfortunately, I love to take on the harder tasks in life. Without a fail, I want to work through the harder things in life (don’t ask me why, I somehow ask for this unconsciously). Well, this thing I want to work on is going to take a lot of self-discipline and lots of self study and going internally to figure out what’s right, wrong, good, bad, whatever. And, as y’all know I am a huge proponent of journaling! So, why not use this as an excuse to get a journal for the summer!

I’m going to use this opportunity to finally start a gratitude/inspiration journal. I bought 2 brand new volant moleskine journals, and dubbed them my summer inspiration journals. I’m going to start them off with my 3 big intentions for the summer, and then whatever comes to me, journal it out. And, I mean anything and everything that inspires me, comes to me, makes me think outside the box, whatever it may be. I’m even going to start writing out my “thoughts of the day” in them as well. I’m pretty stoked about this y’all.

I really believe in the power of physically writing out your thoughts and having something concrete to come back to; seeing how much you’ve changed, grown, things that excited you x amount of years ago, it’s really inspiring.

Every day is a reason to start something new. Every season is a reason to set your intention for what you want out of life. Because, truthfully, at the end of the day, nothing or no one can actually stop you from reaching your goals and desires. The hardest truth to swallow is that we’re the only ones stopping ourselves from getting what we want. (Trust me, it’s hard a truth to face…to not deflect out, and fully accept ownership for your own hinges in life). Be proud of what you want, and go out and get it.

Set your intentions, fully and truthfully, and just watch the universe literally bring those opportunities to you on a silver platter. Whether you take them or not, is all on you. But, intentions work y’all. Try it out! Write them down, and inspire yourself to go and get them.

What intentions do you have for the summer?

the road less traveled

This past weekend, I was asked to write down my top 10 desires in life, and then rank them by importance and urgency of attaining them. Not that I was baffled by the task at hand, but it took a while to think of actual desires I had for my life. The themes around which my every day actions and ideas revolve around. Sure we have goals and wishes to become something great and do amazing things, but to figure out what our actual desires are, it’s not as easy of a task as you would think.

Putting these things down on paper is one thing. But what makes them important is what you’re going to do to actually achieve these desires and make them come into fruition. Some amount of effort has to be put in, hard decisions have to be made, and every now and them the desire comes at a cost. For the longest time, I thought that it was easy to have everything at one time; that I never had to sacrifice one thing for another. Life is perfect that way. However, I quickly realized that that notion was just that, a notion; an idealistic view point on life that is much easier said than done.

I mean, think about it. Every great person that we idolize as role models made sacrifices to get what they wanted. Each Olympic athlete has to put in 10,000 hours of practice just to qualify. CEOs and the head dudes of major companies and organizations put in hours upon end to see that their business is successful. Scientists and mathematicians are continuously working on their analyses. To become Miss America takes missing more friends and family events than you would think (this I know because of one of my very good friends). Achievement doesn’t just come to people who go about their lives as if it’s just any ol’ day.

What are you willing to do make sure you successfully see your desires become real? So, the first step is to write those 10 things down. Then there will come a time when you will be put in a spot to make a really tough decision, and you’ll realize that what you want in the short-term doesn’t trump the long-term. We get so caught in making ourselves happy in the short-term, but we sacrifice long-term happiness. But why not the other way around? I want to be happy 20, 30, 80 years from now, not miserable.

I was told this past weekend that the harder decision is usually the better decision and the right decision, whether we want to believe it or not. Attachment and ego lead us to believe that the easier, more obvious decision is the better decision. But that only leads to chasing for short-term happiness. We are instant gratification seekers. I’m beginning to realize that short term situations just keep up going from one day to the next; there’s nothing that is pushing us to look past one year, two years.

This past weekend I was asked to make a decision that would essentially make me leave my plans and do something that I’m not completely thrilled about. Upon reflection in that moment, I realized my hesitance to say yes to the new idea was because of my attachment to the original idea, and my ego having control over that. Where was the surrendering that I so often seek in my day to day life? At that moment, I thought about the 10 desires that I had written on that list.

• Have faith
• Not be controlled by attachment
• Be content

These were just 3 out of the 10 that I wrote down. If I had said no to the question I was faced with, I would blatantly be going against 3 out of 10 of my desires (plus more). Who wants to be a hypocrite? I’m not trying to talk big game without backing it up in my actions.

This past weekend had to have been one of the toughest decisions I have had to make. I can’t say that I’m still 110% completely excited with the new plans, but it’s about having faith. It’s about my having faith that I am being taken care of by something much bigger than myself. And if I learn to let go and truly surrender, there is a beautiful liberating feeling that awaits me.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
-Robert Frost

in denial

“When you deny the God within, you deny the God everywhere…” -Dr. Lad

This little, yet huge statement was made by Dr. Lad a few weeks ago, and I have been churning the meaning behind this ever since then. What in the world could Dr. Lad have been meant by saying this? These are my thoughts on the whole thing…

What does it really mean to deny the God within? And I began thinking, a lack of so much and an excess amount of so much all contributes to us denying the God within. Every time I look in the mirror and point out a flaw, I am denying the God within. A lack of self-esteem, self-worth, self-trust are all contributors to denying the God within. If I can’t even love myself, the perfectness that something greater than myself has created, how in the heck am I going to be able to love someone else? It always begins with you, with going internally and really loving and appreciating every ounce of your existence and being.

Our lives are clouded by judgement and criticism, towards other and ourselves. We fail to see that our external environment is just a reflection of our internal one. I judge and criticize because of my own insecurities. I am rude and mean because of something within that doesn’t sit well with me about myself. With this, I am denying the God within.

We are constantly seeking for something bigger than ourselves in every single place. Why don’t we ever just turn our focus the other way and begin to look within. Our bodies are the first temple. However, we will take care of everything except ourselves.

Tonight, Dr. Lad said that the true heaven we seek is already within us. Everything that we could ever want and need is lying within. But, we choose to deny all of that, and by denying what we already have, we are denying everything that is beyond us. Gandhi says to be the change you wish to seek in the world. Many other bright and enlightened people always focus on self-development, and going within, and seeking internally. Well, there is some validation to what they are saying. Instead of worrying about others, why not worry about yourself? One of the hardest problems I face is listening to something inspiring, and then thinking about every other person that thought or idea can benefit. But, do I ever turn the arrow to myself and really try to implement those same ideas into my own life? I essentially have just put myself in the same boat of other people judging from my idea of “non-judgement”. And where does this get me? Absolutely no where.

Nothing but in denial. I am constantly denying the greatness within me, and ultimately, I am hindering myself to see the greatness that surrounds me. After all, my external environment is just a reflection of my internal.

Luckily there are so many tools out there to alleviate this constant cycle I put myself in–awareness and mindfulness being two of the main ones. Be aware of your thoughts and actions.

Start loving yourself and then truly and purely be able to love others.

one in the same

I’ve been reading Kabir at night before I go to bed (remember, I stopped opening email/facebook/twitter/instagram/any other thing that doesn’t send me positive vibrations before bed. read here!). I stumbled upon a really amazing poem yesterday. I want to share with all of you!

1. 16. santan jot na pucho nirguniyan
IT is needless to ask of a saint the caste to which he belongs
For the priest, the warrior, the trades-man, and all the thirty-six castes,
alike are seeking for God.
It is but folly to ask what the caste of a saint may be ;
The barber has sought God, the washerwoman, and the carpenter
Even Raidas was a seeker after God.
The Rishi Swapacha was a tanner by caste.
Hindus and Moslems alike have achieved that End, where remains no mark of distinction.
-Kabir

We are all on some sort of path, trying to grasp for something bigger than this body we live in. Whether we know it or not, want to believe it or not, we are all walking some journey seeking something. None of us are different, and at the end of the day, there are no separations between you and me.

In Ayurveda, we talk about the life force as prana. Prana is the living energy within people and things and objects. It’s also the tying factor that binds us all together in this world and what binds us to the greater universe and whatever higher thing you believe in. We put so much emphasis on the differences and purposely separate ourselves. In retrospect, we are all one in the same. We are all connected by some energy that is pushing us on our individual paths. Once we begin to accept this, the boundaries can be broken. We can start putting aside our ego and jealousy and desires and aversions, and start living a more pure, a more humble life.

The saint has no caste, the barber has no caste. We all have reached the goal at some point or other, and then, nothing matters.

There is no such thing as difference, only uniqueness.

daily encouragement: April 13

How ironic that I open sgi.org only to find this daily encouragement waiting for me to share. Enjoy friends!

“Thoreau, a renowned American Renaissance thinker, wrote in his journal: “Nothing must be postponed. Take time by the forelock. Now or never! You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.” We shouldn’t put anything off but seize the moment, living with all our being in the present. If we do that, he says, each moment will become eternity.”
Daisaku Ikeda

two months

It’s been two months since my last post, and I have 2 months left at the Ayurvedic Institute. Where does time go? Literally. Looking back at October when I started this new journey in my life, little did I know how quick it would go by. Time moves so much faster than it really appears to do so.

What have I learned? I’ve learned that there is a lot of time I wish away. There’s not a day that goes by that at some point I don’t say “I’m ready for this day to be over” or “Only 5 more minutes” or something along those lines. And in retrospect, I think those were all really stupid things to say. Now, I’m here, having wasted perfect moments to create amazing ones all because I wanted that day to be over or was bored for those 5 minutes. Do I ever live in the present moment?

I realize more and more everyday how difficult it is to take advantage of the place you’re in, and to truly “Carpe Diem”. Time is so precious, and we let it slip out of our hands like grains of sand. Why is it so easy to live in the past and future, but never in the present?

Our lives are driven by many things such as fear, desire, and ego. We have no awareness of our true nature or our true Self. We let our senses run our lives, and thus we aren’t able to enjoy what is happening during the present minute. Right now, as I type this there are a million other things that are running through my head, such as “Man, I really need to go to bed so I can wake up in the morning”, and now being aware of the thoughts racing through my head, I stop and realize how peaceful and beautiful this moment is right now. Sharing it with Nandan, being in this space of calm and tranquility, listening only the sound of my keyboard tapping away this post.

How often do we stop and smell the roses, and really really enjoy their fragrance? How often do we just melt into the arms of our loved ones and give a real meaningful embrace? There are so many times I look back and regret not having spent my time better, and how I shouldn’t have wished away that time. I could have been more engaged in conversations, I could have given all of my energy to people I love, and I would have created so many more beautiful memories. But, the world of should have, could have, would have, isn’t one in which I want to live or dwell in.

Time to move on and not regret. Time to live in the moment and love what is going on right now. I have two months left in Albuquerque, New Mexico. Who knows where life will take me next, but why worry? There is a sense of freedom that comes with having no control over what will happen next. The less I can worry, the more time I can give to the present me to help that Nishita grow and nurture her life.

Life if beautiful and time is priceless. Live in the present, and take advantage of the precious and amazing moments that you create.